対話の技術

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

頭に血が上った時に、感情的な口論をするのではなく、黙って会話をやめてしまうのでもなく、いかに対話を続け前向きな結果を出すか。

数年前に VitalSmarts 社の In-house Training に２日間参加したことがあり、これは大学の必須科目であってもいいのではないかとも思う。

本で読んだ場合、第１章には、なぜこの対話の技術が必要かということ（例えば口論をしなければ寿命が延びるとか）が書かれている。

A growing body of research evidence shows that when leaders invest in creating a Crucial Conversations culture, nuclear power plants are safer, financial services firms gain greater customer loyalty, hospitals save more lives, government organizations deliver dramatically improved service, and tech firms learn to function seamlessly across international boundaries.

こんな理由で原子力発電所の安全が守られなかったら怖い。

When it comes to the corporate world, the most common complaint of executives and managers is that their people work in silos.

律儀に初めから読むと、次の性悪説ともとれる一節を見て、ここで読むのをやめてしまう人がいるみたい。

We’re generally on our worst behavior. Why is that? We’re designed wrong.

When their software product doesn’t ship on time, they benchmark others’ development processes. When productivity flags, they tweak their performance management system. When teams aren’t cooperating, they restructure. In the best companies, everyone holds everyone else accountable—regardless of level or position.

第２章以降に書かれていることは、すぐに実践することができ、成果もわかりやすい。

When it’s safe, you can say anything.

Step out of the conversation and Make It Safe. When safety is restored, go back to the issue at hand and continue the dialogue.

• Apologize when appropriate.
• Contrast - Start with what you don’t intend or mean. Then explain what you do intend or mean.
• Create a Mutual Purpose - Do others believe you care about their goals in this conversation? Do they trust your motives?

Both these reactions—to fight and to take flight—are motivated by the same emotion: fear.

口論 (fight あるいは violence) も沈黙 (take flight あるいは silence) もどちらも最善策ではない。

Focus on What You Really Want When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives.

“What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?” “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?”

Refuse the Fool’s Choice See if you’re telling yourself that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on.

Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and.

Clarify what you don’t want, add it to what you do want, and ask your brain to start searching for healthy options to bring you to dialogue.

和 (peace) を保とうとして、誠意 (honesty) をもって何かを伝えようとしたことを諦めてはいけない。(Fool’s Choice)